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routine will be the end of me.
My heart it beats.
My lungs they breathe.
My eyes they see.
But my soul does not be.

i want to tell my psychiatrist about my blog….i feel like it expresses my thoughts and feelings way better then i could ever do with words.

should i?

no one knows anything.

I’m so good at faking a smile, pretending to be happy. No one questions it. “Oh she’s smiling.” they say so I must be getting “better.” It’s all just lies. I’m empty, I feel nothing. Numb. My body is covered in scars and cuts. My insides ache. My mind pains. Nothing about me is fine, I am not better. I’m slowly falling deeper and deeper into the hole. But no one see’s it, not my family not the doctors not my friends. Here I am suffocating with my disease I’m downing, drowning….I’m dying.